i'm having one of those discouraging days again. i stayed up late last night doing work, and it turns out i didnt need to stay up because we didnt have the quiz that we were supposed to, and the philo paper i worked on last night, i scratched the entire thing and started all over. i could've utilized that time much better had i known. and now today i have many many things to do, including study for the econ midterm tomorrow. have i started studying at all? no. have i been doing work the whole time? yes. i spent 1 hour on a stupid probability problem, i got the concept, answer kept on getting wrong. why? my constant was a factor of 10 off. anyways, now that it's fixed, it's still not right, but i'm close to wearing a hole through the paper w/ all the erasing. i know this homework isnt due till thursday, but i have to attempt all the problems by tomorrow so i can get help at office hours. last homework i could do almost all of it myself. this homework, i am able to do 2 out of the 9 problems without help. i'm such a failure. and this is supposed to be my concentration? *sigh* yea yea i know i'm just self-pitying. it's actually not so bad, and i'm doing well on the graded homework. probably because the ta helps me with all of it. although it's sad i'm still missing a few points here and there. it shows that i dont REALLY understand the material from the first exam. i WILL do better on the second one (in 3 weeks). i'm tired, sleepy, frustrated, etc etc. this week really does suck. i guess this is what happens when you get used to having your work nicely distributed. but if you base this on a normal distribution, it's about right. most of the time my work is evenly distributed, a bit of the time i have it clumped, and a bit of the time i have none at all for a few days. life is a normal distribution. i have statistics on the brain. how sad am i? why am i blogging? i need an outlet, i need something/someone to vent to. i need a break from this, but i cant. miss practical i am knows the truth, i dont want to hear it from others. yes, it's not THAT bad, i'm not a cs major or an engineer or anything, things could always be worse, etc. etc. i hate it when i cant do things. it's upsetting. what a rant this was, if you actually read all of this that's pretty impressive considering it's so random. anyways, back to work.