Thanks to everyone that made me smile today, including my mommy, sister, eric liu, patrick carreon, peter le, tony nguyen, jessica wang, shawn tian, and pat hizon. you guys make me happy. :)

Hey guys. I'm leaving for pittsburgh again tomorrow, and while this is still all on my brain, i wanted to say it all (or a lot of it).

Thanks to everyone who chauffeured(sp?) me around, let me stay in their homes, bought me stuff, and just pretty much showed me that southern hospitality. it's great being back, and i love seeing everyone again. it's kool to be able to walk around and just bump into people you know. i feel like an old fogey already and i'm not even 20. *sigh*

i think i've gained so much weight from the constant barrage of food, and my non-stop eating, but hey, who knows when i can eat it again? i had crawfish 3 times. yea! plus other down home texas goodness.

UT campus was great; it makes me wish i had stayed in texas and gone there. it actually feels like a real college, unlike cmu. ultimately tho, i know i made the right decision in leaving. talking to justin today, it was nice to see he sort of has the same feelings i do. socially, ut would've been better. academically, the east coast has definitely proven to be an advantage.

going to UT makes me realize i havent done a very good job of maintaining connections with people, but it's still totally kool hanging out w/ the people again. it's the same thing everywhere. "where are you now? what's your major? how do you like the weather? what are you doing this summer?" that goes both ways too, ya know. i ask them, they ask me. it's gotten to the point where i dont remember anything about anyone anymore. i realize i should know it, but i dont. haha. it's all good. who did i chill w/ 1-1? well, besides going to classes and hanging out w/ my bestest jessica, i played mah jong with the usual crew (jessica, mary, kenny), went to the museum with kenny, ate chipotle with pat, looked at wedding magazines with athena, ate magnolia's with aaron, watched im basketball with blick, watched gunbound with tran, and ate korea garden with shawn. that doesnt count all the other people i saw around campus and in classes and freaked out (namely simi and payal, haha).

coming back to CL has been nice too, seeing patrick and peter and justin and eric and stuff. i see the high schoolers around, and i'm like wtf. they're so retarded. i dont ever remember hanging out in parking lots like they do. or maybe it's just that i block out all that stuff. who knows? CL is still changing a lot, new things are being built, old places are going out of business, what can i say?

seeing my family friends and eating with them in chinatown is nice, makes me feel like i'm still a kid where everyone's so nice to me and i'm still the baby. i like that feeling. heehee. and talking to sherwin again, yay! i'm glad it's so easy to revive old friendships.

it's nice coming back, where i know things. like how i still knew how to drive to clear creek. heh i'm not very good at pointing out the directions, but in my brain i knew what was going on. sure they're building new things, but the schools arent going to be moving anytime soon (i hope).

justin's right. people down down are kooler. and friendlier. and all around chiller. go texas. yeehah!

and a special thanks to jessica, for driving me to and from austin, picking me up from the airport, letting me sleep in her bed, use her shower, eat her food, and all around bug her.

i'm having one of those discouraging days again. i stayed up late last night doing work, and it turns out i didnt need to stay up because we didnt have the quiz that we were supposed to, and the philo paper i worked on last night, i scratched the entire thing and started all over. i could've utilized that time much better had i known. and now today i have many many things to do, including study for the econ midterm tomorrow. have i started studying at all? no. have i been doing work the whole time? yes. i spent 1 hour on a stupid probability problem, i got the concept, answer kept on getting wrong. why? my constant was a factor of 10 off. anyways, now that it's fixed, it's still not right, but i'm close to wearing a hole through the paper w/ all the erasing. i know this homework isnt due till thursday, but i have to attempt all the problems by tomorrow so i can get help at office hours. last homework i could do almost all of it myself. this homework, i am able to do 2 out of the 9 problems without help. i'm such a failure. and this is supposed to be my concentration? *sigh* yea yea i know i'm just self-pitying. it's actually not so bad, and i'm doing well on the graded homework. probably because the ta helps me with all of it. although it's sad i'm still missing a few points here and there. it shows that i dont REALLY understand the material from the first exam. i WILL do better on the second one (in 3 weeks). i'm tired, sleepy, frustrated, etc etc. this week really does suck. i guess this is what happens when you get used to having your work nicely distributed. but if you base this on a normal distribution, it's about right. most of the time my work is evenly distributed, a bit of the time i have it clumped, and a bit of the time i have none at all for a few days. life is a normal distribution. i have statistics on the brain. how sad am i? why am i blogging? i need an outlet, i need something/someone to vent to. i need a break from this, but i cant. miss practical i am knows the truth, i dont want to hear it from others. yes, it's not THAT bad, i'm not a cs major or an engineer or anything, things could always be worse, etc. etc. i hate it when i cant do things. it's upsetting. what a rant this was, if you actually read all of this that's pretty impressive considering it's so random. anyways, back to work.