it's thursday. i'm leaving for MA tomorrow and skipping 2 classes. fun stuff, huh? not good @ ALL. well, i'm a friggin retard here. that's all i can say. i feel like the stupidest person in the world. geigel seriously did jack shit for me. i'm basically relearning chem from scratch. and it's only chapter 1! i'm confused in CHAPTER ONE. i'm a friggin retard. and then there's all those geniuses on my floor. which is one of the main reasons i'm living there...so they can help me. which they are. and that is kool. i'd also like to say the ppl @ this school are so weird. me and my roommate were discussing this last night. i dont wanna write stuff here, cuz this IS public. but call me and i will be happy to vent about my crazy school. i do like the ppl i have met, but like 80% of this school are freaks. seriously. ok. i know. u're thinking, uh steph. what are u thinking? u're a freak too. i know. i am. but i'm a regular freak. not a freak freak.

i prolly need to listen in clas. more .later.


*my computer class teacher john likes to say hello.*

WOOHOO! just got thru the 1st day of class. and i'm still feeling sick. as in sick sick. my stomach kinda hurts. @ least my headache is gone, right? well, classes went ok. i was totally freaked out by my chem and physics teacher. considering i had GEIGEL, psh. yea. it's like learning from scratch. i actually think calculus will b ok. thanx 2 my WONDERFUL calc teacher miller, i think i'm gonna survive. psych seems like an interesting class. the teacher just LOOKS like a psychologist. during my 2 hour break i managed to sneak in a small nap. yea! go me!
i still have some errands to do tho, like going to go open my bank account. this is what i get for procrastinating. boo steph.
so the deal w/ my monitor is that it is ordered, but it is on BACKORDER. how long i have to wait to get my monitor is still up in the air. in the meantime, i'm gonna have to live w/ using these clusters. heh i came to the KOOL cluster in the library today, the one w/ all the new imacs. i really do like these macs. @ this school, it turns out that a LOT of ppl like macs better than pcs. that's totally pimp. cept the fact i'm not very familiar w/ it. o yea! and today was the 1st time i used unix. purty nifty. i was so scared. but all i really did was like check my mail and stuff. no biggie.
and i have to miss classes on friday b/c i'm going 2 MA for labor day. i think i'm missing out on some parties too. ahh, well, i'll live right? AHHH stupid construction! i woke up so EARLY this morning and i couldnt go back to sleep b/c of it. o yea and thanx to KUNAL for calling me @ 4:30 AM! wtf do u think u were doing? yea maybe it's 2 over there...but it's my 1st day of school! plus i sleep on a loft and the phone was so far away from me, i didnt bother to pick it up. if i had, i would've bitched u out. i still love u tho.
ooo! i learned to salsa. and kinda swing. kool beets eh?
jessica called me yesterday and got me all weepy and homesick. geez, all her fault. i havent even felt that way till she called. i'm so glad that ppl are calling me and wishing me well and stuff. it's so awesome. i hope i dont run over on phone minutes. yesterday alone i must've used @ least like 60 minutes. out of my 1000. ugh. (weekend minutes). i met some girl here from like CA. they have some crazy phone plans over there. she has like 4000 minutes for 39.99. and this kool phone from asia. we dont get that kinda stuff in houston. hmm. i still say "we" as like i'm a houstonian. i guess i am, right? but like in all the stuff here, i'm listed under new jersey. boo. so many new jersey ppl here!
wellups, i need to go finish my errands. i just wanna say i love u guys!
;"

HEY yall!! i'm so glad to get back online again. it's been like a friggin week. more, actually. 1.5. i'm in a computer cluster where i'm registering for classes or something, so i cant type too fast(it's loud) or too much. the guy is like talking. anywayz, somuch to say. the car ride up was ok the 1st day, tiring the 2nd. so much road kill on the roads! straight driving. ugh. and i got sick. and my parents yelled @ me and crap. stupid. i've talked to some ppl from home already. u guys are the best! thanx 4 calling and saying hi, and just talking 2 me. it's been pretty filled w/ stuff so far. they pack it like crazy. i feel like i'm @ camp. but b/c i'm in a new enviornment, i'm not the WOOHOO hyper steph u guys all know and LOVE right? hehe i know u love me. i'm meeting a whole buncha different ppl from different places, and i think that is so awesome. i had a conversation w/ the guy across the hall yesterday, and he's from like some small lil hick town in PA. yea. if i had access b4, i would've written so MUCH in this journal. the 1st day i got here i tried 2 go 2 the computer cluster, and i was like uh... i dont know how to log on. it was friggin unix. but i think i know how. it's just a scary screen. 4 all u computer nerds out there, this school is definitely the school 4 u. it's actually quite kool. there are plenty of nerds and stuff, but there's regular normal ppl too. like there's ppl doing drama, art, etc. not ALL smarty pants. o man, i still dont have a monitor yet, so i still cant use my computer. and i plugged every else in last night, and i turned it on, and it roared for a second, and just turned off! i was like wtf? i think i'll just wait 4 my monitor to get here, then i'll buy my ethernet cable, and connect to my (i think) T3 connection baby! so fast! wohooo! i'm using a flat screen monitor now. it must be like 18 inches. so KOOL. but anywayz, i'm sure i wont have a problem finding someone to help me fix my computer. hehehe. but calvin is still SOO KOOL 4 building me such a spiffy nifty computer!
i was a bit homesick the4 day b4 i got here. once i got here, there was so much to do, it wasnt a problem. my main problem right now is the fact i moved houses, so i basically brought my whole ROOM and all my clothes to my dorm. so now i have too much CRAP in my room. and my mom like packed me 6 towels. WTF? and i have like a BOX of paper. plain white paper, like different textures. i have to send home 2 suitcases worth of crap. how ghetto is that? that really pisses me off. and u know w/ my luck i got one of the crappiest triples. turns out it was originally a double room turned into a triple. SO SMALL! i went to the 2 biggest triples on my floor. they're HUGE. and we pay the same amt of money. how fair is that? *sigh* well, i guess it's not horrible. i'm also feeling a little jealous, cuz i feel like i'm kinda missing out on the freshman experience. like i was chilling w/ some ppl living in an all freshman dorm really close 2 me, and they all know each other cuz they all live in like the same hall. i mean, i live w/ all fishies too. but it's not the same. @ the same time, i guess it doesnt really matter, cuz once classes start, i'll be hanging out w/ the ppl in my classes. yea. i live across the street from the fraternity quadrangle. all i hear everyday is them blasting hip hop. and cuz we have no air condition, we keep our windows open. even w/ it closed u can hear it. then they're building a new dorm right next to us, out my OTHER window. so i am awakened every morning @ 8 oclock to the sound of drilling. wonderful, huh? i guess that will be good for my 8:30 classes of chemistry and physics. when i get my monitor i'll hook up my webcam, and take u on a tour of my ROOM! how fun will that be? the bathroom isnt actually that bad. o, and i since i got there LAST i got the loft bed, which is WAYY off the floor. i hit my head on the ceiling when i sit up in bed. i sent in a request to get it lowered one notch. so if u call late and i take a while answering my fone, it might be b/c i'm in my bed and it takes me like an hour to get out. plus i'm scared of heights. yea. it's not gonna be good the day i fall out of my bed.
i want to thank everyone for being so NICE to me b4 i left and giving me all this stuff and taking me out to eat and stuff. i feel like it's christmas! i'm still working on where to fit all my frames and stuff. no tacking on the walls, which is a bit of a problem.
alright, i cant think of anything else right now. O YEA. AIR HOCKEY FOR FREE BABY IN MY DORM! PUAHAHAHHAHA<--ann. heehehehehehe:) u know i LUV U!!!!
classes start next week. let's all hope i dont die. i hope all u fishies will have an awesome time @ college if u're not there yet. and u high schoolers, enjoy it! try not to make too much drama, and not overload yourself. HAVE FUN!
if u guys wanna talk to me, u can email me @ sylin@andrew.cmu.edu BAIIIIIIIII

ok. i'm really scared now. i wasnt scared b4. i just read this link http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~edelreal/docs/frosh.txt
i'm gonna die. DIE I TELL U! if u dare to read, go. homework on the very 1st day. i'm gonna be skipping school the very first friday ever for "labor day". awww MAN. i'm so gonna fail out. not just that, i am now truly frightened. i wasnt that worried b4. but now, i'm starting to feel the pressure. every1 @ cmu is gonna b genius. am i gonna even have time 4 a social life? am i even gonna PASS? i'm thinking i should buy myself a palm. that guy said it was a good idea. in 2 days, i have all this stuff to do. i'm leaving. that's crazy too. about to leave all i know behind. my friends, my family, my house(actually i already did that), my comfort zone. i'm totally ready to go startt anew. socially, i dont worry at all. it's the academics that i'm worried about. i think i'm gonna put all my energies in keeping up with my grades at first, before i even start thinking extracurriculars. gawd, i'm screwed. what ever was i thinking enrolling in the school? i was so excited b4, thinking about all the fun stuff. but that stuff is gonna have to be 2nd to academics. i dont wanna screw myself over. and now i'm REALLY thinking going 2 massachusetts my 1st week of school isnt the smartest idea in the world. ahh! but the plane ticket is already bought. i cant turn back now. what did i get myself into? i ask myself this w/ only 2 full remaining days here. i am going crazy. someone stop my world from spinning. i have so much left to do. i'm definitely going to miss everything here too. i read ann's note to me last night. that's some good stuff. plus, she got me 3 packs of SPEARMINT skittles for my drive up. dont worri, i havent eaten them yet, although the temptation is quite strong. just in case i didnt stress it enuf, thanx 4 always being there 4 me. it's not something u do, it's just by being u. i love u 4 who u are, and i hope u have tons of fun @ stanford.
then there's koons, who leaves b4 me. u've been so good 2 me this year, i dont even know where 2 begin. just know that i really cherish our friendship, and i'll see u over your new PIMP webcam. :)
ahhhh! i cant believe i'm going so soon. i'm going to miss u all. i'll see u guys all over the webcam, and HOPEFULLY i'll be in houston for some of the christmas holidays. if not, i'll see u when i see u!

just got back from a rousing game of mah jong w/ my "mah jong buddies" (mary, jessica, kenny) at kenny's house. i "gwang hwah yuan"(lost all my money), but that's ok. like jessica said. for a entertainment filled day (from 2-10:30) of mah jong, 10 bucks is a small price to pay. plus, to spend quality time w/ 3 of my very favoritest ppl in the world....priceless. man....i'm gonna miss kenny and his random mah jong phrases. and how he gets so anal when he starts losing. hehehehe. i really do think that it evens out in the end. basically, after all the times i've played w/ them, i've probably broken even. give or take a dollar or so. man, i really hope they come up to visit me thanksgiving so we can play. geez. these ppl are the best. tomorrow is another fun filled day of dance. woopteedoo. well, w/ all the cookie bars i ate that mary made, i think i better do some type of exercise. i dont think i've eaten that much junk food in ages. ugh. i feel sick. no more chocolate! i think i'm burping chocolate.
i think i have 2 notes to write 2 nite. kenny's and i have to finish ann's. i was too tired last nite 2 finish. i'm only 2 pages into it. looooong way to go. well, long nite ahead of me. bai bai!

dang. i learned if i dont type fast enuf, or if i take 2 long, it wont let me publish. so basically i'm rewriting this entry. and b/c i'm rewriting it, it's not gonna b as good. i just wanted to say that there's a friggin huge mosquito bite on my 2nd finger on my right hand. and if u know me, u know i tend to be a bit allergic to mosquito bites, and they swell up like mofos. i also have a bite on my shoulder that's basically taking up the whole shoulder. i can barely bend my finger it's swelled so big. it doesnt itch, but it reeeeeally hurts. ok, right now @ this moment it's starting to itch alittle. but it's still more pain that itch.
so i'm here for one more week. one week can seem really long during exam week, and really short for holidays. i have a feeling this week will fly by. and now i cant even go to lake on sat. :( that's ok. hopefully ppl will come and visit me. lately i've kinda been pushing the thought that i'm leaving out of my head, so i havent been that depressed. i'm in the "carpe diem" phase. i had that 1 really sad night, but i slapped myself, and pulled myself together.
man....today's dance rehearsal was...typical. we suck. ah, well, we usually suck. but then i was watching the class below me, and they REALLY suck. which got me thinking. when we were their age, did we suck that much? and on a further note, do we STILL suck that much? they all seem so unenthusiastic. then there's that 1 girl who's wayyy 2 enthusiastic. such a contrast. ah well, hope practice on tuesday goes better.
yesterday was good. i spent some nice quality time w/ my precious ann. might be the last time i see her. yea. well, hopefully i'll see her wed. well, later gators. till next time.

wow. i feel like everything in my life is going really good right now. has this ever happened? i cant even remember the last time i felt like this. so i'm going off to college. that's part of life though. we make these friends, and we move on to another part of our life. i'm really @ ease with everything. i hang out with the people i want to, and i do what i want to. my parents know i'm not some crazy kid to go out and do horrible things, so it's ok if i come home late. on a side note, i must say i have really kool parents. they're really liberal, which is A+ for me. no doubt they're also quite asian, but it's a good mixture. but anywayz, everything is good.
btw, i'm really suprised at the positive feedback i have been receiving as a result of the letters i have written. i never expected the response i have gotten. i wrote them in an effort to say things i have a hard time saying in person. it comes straight from the heart. ok, so maybe not all of my letters are life changing things. but they're nice things that i feel would make people feel good. yup.
life is good. i'm going to northside to visit my DAHLING jessica today. man. 2.75 just to get there and 2.75 back! i never knew it was so expensive. well, she is worth it. plus, she makes the trip for ME all the time right? i think we're doing cajun food. and maybe funnel cake and stuff. man.i'm getting so fat. my mom and i got 2 jungle cafe cakes yesterday. u know how they're buy 1 get the 2nd half off. MAN. SOOOOO GOOD. i've eaten total like a half of a cake by myself already, if not more. i like it cuz it's not that sweet. very light. but still incredibly fattening. i still have to squeeze into that hootchie prostitute costume. man...plus those ghetto styled clip on earrings seriously make me look like i'm a hooker. damn. ahh, well, if u're coming 2 my performance, no cameras allowed. u're welcome to laugh all u want, but NO CAMERAS.
Hmm...i must call ann later. we still have to make bulletin boards. and go to super target! YEA!

ok. hehe. so i'm writing a lot. but hey, i feel GOOD right now. so incredibly good. INDESCRIBABLE. i have an indescribable friendship. December 1, 1998. I will remember the day 4ever. :)

Yea, I know. It's a bit early in the morning, eh? hehe. well, I just had to get some stuff off my mind. you know when things are all bundled up inside you, and u want somewhere to put them. i guess that was the reason i wanted to have an online journal. sure, ppl can read the stuff you say. but who cares? if it's really personal, you wouldnt wanna type it on here.
Shamvna's party was some purty kool stuff. I had an excellent time, even though I was extremely depressed by the time I left. I had a conversation with the ever thinking blick. turns out he's moving too, but to D.C. @ least i had 3 years notice; he had 2 weeks. So we realized we had a lot of stuff in common. And the more I thought about it, the more i got depressed on, yes i say this again, HOW LITTLE TIME IS LEFT. yea, i did the jumping around, dancing like a maniac. but i couldnt do it after my conversation w/ blick. nah....he's an awesome guy. I'm glad i had the talk. it's weird how he's taking a completely opposite path to the same spot that we're headed. he's become like a complete hermit, and i go out practically every day. i just couldnt stand going back in the party, and i could feel tears welling up in my eyes. i managed to get outside before the tears actually started trickling down. and yet again, dan seemed to sense something was up, and came out to talk. and as always, i'm blown away by his intelligence. dan blick, if u're reading this, i wish u the best of luck in college, and i hope you dont slack off too much.
as to every1 i gave notes to at the party, i apologize ahead of time for them not being too good. i also hope u guys dont exactly exchange them with each other, as they're a bit personal. it's not like i trashed-talked u in some1 else's letter, i just feel like each letter is only meant for the person i wrote it for.
and patrick, i couldnt help it, but i read your letter. after being in that mood, i felt like your letter would be perfect. it was one of those moments where it just seemed right. and no doubt, the tears poured. you are quite eloquent. it's you and me all the way man. from kindergarten. things might change, but our friendship will remain.
*sigh* i usually try not to be too much of a sentimental person. i dont like to cry in front of other ppl. no doubt i cry, though. i'll do my best to keep a happy front for u all, cuz weepy stephy is no fun. yea. man. i'm lucky to have such great friends as yall. o yea, side note, another thing that made me kinda down today was when we took a picture of "the crew". you know, the group we've been hanging out with together all summer. me on tran's lap, koller on dana's......hahaha. anywayz, yea. with me moved, i already feel left out of the loop. plus the fact i'm LEAVING...*sigh* it's been great though. i loved hanging out w/ u guys all summer. the randomest things set me off, eh?
BTW, Thanks eric for the shirt, and steven for the tie! u guys rock. and for every1 that signed my scrapbook today. sorry for the last minute business.
i'll try to end on a BRIGHT NOTE. i watched ann bust out her moves! WOOHOO GO BABY!!!!!! sexy sexy GIRL!!!!!!

I slept for about 11 hours last night. WOOHOO! That's a lot or me. Usually, I sleep around 7-9, and if I'm lucky, more. Got dance class today. *sigh*. We're so not ready for performance. Not even close. This means I won't be able to spend as much time with my friends. That's ok. One of the reasons I'm still in Houston is because I dance. OO guess what? I found out that for 1 of my requirements for CMU, I can take modern dance. HOW PIMP would that be! uh HUH. Dinner is at Tay Do today. YUM YUM YUM. Just might be the last time I eat there before I leave. *sniffle* Man i love that place.
There's still so much stuff I want to do. I wanna go to the museum of natural science, the fine arts museum, the holocaust museum, and go see an astros game. Hopefully, I can do 2/4. That would be awesome.
OMG i got new bed sheets yesterday! And towels! YIPEE!!!!! My bed sheets are Pima cotton. I looked for egyptian cotton, but they didnt have those in extra long. But this pima stuff is friggin soft. 280 thread count BABY! I got 1 navy blue fitted sheet, 1 red fitted, 1 navy flat, and lilac pillow covers. hehe ok. So what if they dont match. I got the lilac pillow covers cuz those are made of SATEEN!!!! sateen is the best stuff ever made. When I grow up, i'm gonna get 500 thread count egyptian cotton sateen. That stuff is SOO AWESOME. THe pillow covers are 230 thread count. Livable. SO SOFT though. It's a shame they didn't have the extra long sheets in the sateen, or I would've been all over that. They didn't have any dark colors of the sateen. That's y I got lilac. OK, so I dont have matching bed sheets. Who really CARES? Comfort is key. Yea. I just droned on and on about bedsheets. Am I boring you? Well, TOO BAD. If you talk to me or Ann, we can go on and on for ages about bedsheets. Dont even get me started about my towels.
Shamvna's party is today. I shall be going to that. I wonder if the telepathy between Ann and me is gonna work. I THINK I already chose what color shirt I'm wearing...I wonder if it's in the same family of colors as her. Cross your fingers!

Been wanting to do one of these things for a while. Thanks to Daryl, i AM! woohoo! GO DARYL. yea. The main thing on my mind right now is how incredibly SMART Daryl is. I dont know if most people realize this. He's like a genius. I was kinda bored, looking at his website. I totally admire people like that. People who dont just go flashing around their intelligence.
My other thought is how little time I have here left. Less than 3 friggin weeks! Man. And i still have so much to do. You know, most of these friendships that we forge over the past 13 years will be pretty much forgotten. We'll maintain the ones that mean the most to us. But the rest of them...So what's the point of making all these so called friends? And on another note, why do we act fake and pretend to be nice around people we dont like? To avoid trouble, right? But in the long run, who really CARES. I've realized that my true friends accept me for the person I am, through all the crazy mistakes I have made. Who's perfect? I love my friends so much. This summer has been so GREAT with them. The rest of my summer is gonna be tied up doing dance and stuff. So if I dont see you all before I leave, just know that I've had a SUPER DUPER time here in Houston. More mushy stuff shall be added as the time to moving away gets closer and closer.
And on a more depressing note. One of my long term friendships here has been on some shaky ground lately. A lot of this is my fault; I've gotta say, I'm not exactly an awesome friend at times. I take a lot of things for granted and such. But if this specific person is reading this, I hope he/she understands that no matter what, I will always be there for you. True, this sounds cliche, and you most likely find this untrue. But I assure you, it is the utmost truth. You've been such a loyal friend to me, I'm sorry that I violated our trust the way I did.
Alright, enough of this entry. Until next time!